The Real mind of the Missionary
The frailty of the human life being what it is, I wanted to write about myself a bit. I am writing partly I guess just to justify the thoughts which go through my head although I seldom know if they are right or wrong. Never the less, they are thoughts and are there so I will express.
I came here in 2006 ready to dig my heels in and do a good job for me, for those who have supported us prayerfully and financially and mostly for God I am so deeply appreciative. God had given us a love for the people of Payatas, it did not come naturally but felt as it did.
I believe with all my heart that anything accomplished has only been through Him and that as it so aptly is stated: 1Co_1:27 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
With that said I believe we have accomplished so much as the Lord has used us and as we have attributed it all , only to Him.
We started off pawning jewelry that I owned just so we could eat. As we continued on we learned how to work within the tiniest of budgets so that we would not run out of food while waiting for a support check.
I would like to thank those who stuck by us for these six years now and tell you how much you are appreciated. No, I take that back. I could never tell you because it is beyond telling. You are always in our prayers and held before the face of God.
There are also those that forgot us as soon as we left. That is between you and God.
During these years we have lost supporters and gained supporters. The thing I hated the most about losing supporter was I felt I lost friends. I didn’t care about the money because God will always take care of us yet it was like our friends had left us. That hurt.
Sometimes we lost supporters/friends because they did not like our politics. Jesus said that they needed to eat His flesh and drink His blood and so they all left Him because they could not understand or believe what He was telling them.
If we were anti-abortion, they fought us and if we were anti-homosexuality they still fought us. We have people who left because they liked Obama and we did not.
Irregardless, we had to stand on the Lord’s side no matter what.
I do admire those who still love us because it’s us and even we have different thoughts on a subject that is not an attack on each others person.
You might ask, “Well, why don’t you just stay out of those conversations and don’t get involved.” I ask myself that also. I remember as a boy my father told me to stay put on the subway platform while he went to chase two big white boys from attacking this young black boy. My father also threw a drunk who smacked a woman in her face, off the bus. The drunk was huge. My father, not so, but in my eyes a giant.
I guess what I am saying is how can you see injustice and let it go unchallenged?
How can you let it go when they want to teach your children that homosexual behavior is normal and good?
The reason for the corruption in America is apathetic Christians who think only of themselves.
I believe, and if you are a Christian reading this I may be speaking to you, God is watching you. If the Holy Spirit is not speaking to you from within, if you do not hate injustice, fall on your knees and ask God to teach you.
Anyway, that’s my speech on that.
We have been serving God in wonderful ways and seeing great and exciting changes in so many lives and I am so excited about that.
The Bible says the payment of the Pastor is joy and considering that I am over paid.
All one has to do is to go through our six years of photos or our six years of monthly diaries and they will see that of which I am speaking.
On the subject of jealousy. Do missionaries get jealous? I don’t know about anyone else but I do. I fight it and I hate it but sometimes it is so right in your face that you just have to scream in your head and say “what the heck is going on in this world?”
I see missionaries on face book with beautiful cars and vans, each week some are showing photos of their new buildings they are building and food, long tables of delicacies. Most of these are ministering near some beautiful body of water or a quaint little town that I would love to go just for a vacation. Which by the way we have not had in six years unless you count two days where most of it was driving.
Some of these missionaries are on a plane more than I am in the pulpit. They are always going here or there.
Does it bother me? I am sad to say sometimes if I let it. There are times that I wallow in self pity but It is severely limited and I pray for strength and God helps me.
Should I speak of the injustices? Maybe not. Maybe I should let it go and let people think they are so holy and self righteous and continue on the way they have been going.
There is a system that is used by many religious leaders not at all unlike the politicians and others may use.
I wrote a book concerning this subject which is not quite finished but will be published soon. When I was going on deputation there were many (usually the richer Churches) which would not even allow me to come and to present the work. Then there were others who allowed me, told me (sometimes with tears) that they were going to support the work, but never did. Some of whom came from this place and made a good life for themselves in America.
This society has it’s “Big Shots” who are well known Pastors who , when they have a missionary they are sending out they just call other Pastors and they immediately agree to send them and to take them on for support. When these people visit the foreign Countries they make it a point to visit the missionaries of these richer Churches which I suppose gives them more credibility for some reason.
I imagine no one in the political/religious category would want to visit us here. The hotels are not fancy, the food is plain and the people are poor. I am sure they would rather make long speeches at ocean view Churches with warm sea breezes coming through the windows. Who on earth would rather come here where the stink of the garbage dump permeates your clothes and the dogs bark so loud it’s hard to hear yourself pray?
Is this what a Missionary does? Does he go to the heart of pain and prays God to repair it? Some have told me how wonderful I am to go to such a place to serve. My answer to them is how foolish of me if I did not. Although I would love to go down by a beach and preach the Gospel to seashells and the occasional passerby
I could never justify it before God.
Many have come and returned home the first year because of “lack of money” yet they had more than us. One fellow was told by other Pastors in the States that he
should not go without at least $3,500 per month support. Wow! That is just about three months support for us.
“Is that a little sarcasm I see Pastor Jack?” Eyes turned down he answers, “yes, a little.”
What can I say? I see it, I hear it, it bothers me.
I know God’s will is perfect but I am sure when John the Baptist was about to have his head cut off did not exclaim, “Gee, this is fun!” Also, Paul complained about those who did not support and also spoke of those who serve for their own purposes and Jeremiah lashed out at evil Pastors.
I look at other websites and compare them to others to see what they are doing. (Don’t tell me you don’t) I am convinced we are certainly doing the job God has called us to do. As for those who have been “called to luxury”, maybe they have been and who am I to judge but much of it just feels wrong.
I sometimes wonder about those who consider me a friend. Those Christians that tell me what a great work I am doing and never sending a dime in support. I do know things are tight right now but I don’t believe (I can be wrong) that there is one person who could not right now, sign up for a $5 or $10 or even more donation automatically withdrawn from the bank each month. All it takes is to press the clicker here: http://www.payatasmissionoutreach.org/donation.asp
and to decide what you know you can afford. I am not asking my enemies to do it, (of course they can) I am asking my friends. Perhaps I will write the next blog on what is a true friend.
Even if you are on welfare and food stamps you probably have $1.25 per week. If you don’t, please drop me a line and let me know. We will all certainly pray for you here. There are Christians paying over $100 per carton of cigarettes but can’t give a few bucks a month.
We are trying to raise $4 million U.S. Dollars to buy a piece of property and outfit it with a church that will accommodate at least 2000 people at a time. It will have an open air covered area to fit thousands for evangelistic outreach. It will have missionary quarters for those brave enough to be real missionaries.
I can not find the story but it is like this, the missionary was in the deep part of the jungle, he got a message that some wanted to come and help if they could only find a road. He had to explain that if they were looking for roads they were in the wrong place.
With boils on my face making me look grotesque and now I have about 21 under my armpit. My children have gotten them in their eyes, I don’t know, Malou might be immune. However gruesome and painful and certainly inconvenient we continue on.
The life of a missionary, is there is not some real tribulations, is probably not a real missionary.
This is the part where many will stop reading—
After six years of being here we have gone from $550 per month support to perhaps $1,300 per moth. When we came the exchange rate was 51 pesos for every dollar now it is 41 peso for every dollar. So, we should now be getting p66,300 per month but with the drop in rate we are only getting 53,300 which is 10,000 pesos less. It comes to 238.00 less per month. Add that to the bank fees. $500 to withdraw each $238.00 plus almost $2 from the local bank.
On top of all that, this is the first year we have not yet received the books to send my Children to school. We raised $150 toward our goal of $500.
Is this the sign of the times? Jesus said: Luk 18:7 And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them?
Luk 18:8 I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?